I Hate Angst

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Zelda

As much as I hate having angst, BEING angst-y….

Those are the feelings I have had the past several days. And it pains me. I’m not an angsty person. Not usually. And yet – here I am, all full of those “Oh poor me” and “Woe is me” and “My life is so horrible.” All statements I know to be false. Irritating beyong belief. It really is.

I know part of it stems from something I feel from my online rp life. I feel utterly invisible, taken for granted. “Oh, she’ll be there later. I can do this other thing right now.” But all the time. Constantly pushed aside. Someone told me recently it was because I am not very agressive and that I am easily overlooked. Well. That didn’t make me feel much better at all. I don’t want to be a nag. And, honestly, shouldn’t someone *want* to do something with me without me constantly saying: “So, uh, are you ever going to reply?” I think that is what upsets me most. There are certain people who ignore me utterly unless I say that. And it’s starting to wear on me to watch those people happily bound into rp with someone else when there are things left hanging with me. But – whatever. I’m old reliable, old dependable. I’ll be there later, right?

Another part is from a friend of mine. I feel he’s making the same mistake he made several months ago. Again. With the same woman. Perhaps I should be more optimistic, give this chick the benefit of the doubt. However, she’s already torn his heart out once for absolutely no reason other than “Oh, I just can’t be with you right now, even though I said I could.” So – yeah. I’m pissed off about that. But can I say anything? Nothing he would hear.

And a third thing. I was having one of these moments last night and had to cut off working on something with someone. Now, this guy is supposedly my friend. He has promised to listen to me whenever I need someone. And I have been there for him, many times, in the past nine months or so. I’ve been understanding when he needed to stop in the middle of something. And yet, last night, I got the DISTINCT impression he was pissed off. And that hurt. A lot. The one time *I* needed understanding – and I cannot get it from someone who has promised it to me. Well, what the fuck.

So – yeah. ANGST. And I hate it. I HATE being like this.

I hope I can get over this soon. I’m really unhappy about this.

Posted in Internet Life, Real Life | 6 Comments

Say Hello!

Posted on January 21, 2006 by Zelda

As we said so long to our dear old tenet, now is the time to say Hello to our brand NEW tenet. (=
Now, I have to say, I started this post YESTERDAY. However. FF at work went UTTERLY crazy and froze up and ate the entry. (No joke. My hand to Bob.)

So, here we go on try number two and let’s hope that this particular entry does not get eaten.

The new tenet this week is a young woman who goes by Fyre Goddess. Doesn’t that online nick just make you tingle? Maybe it’s just me and my hidden pyromanic tendencies. Anyway. Her blog is fantastically gorgeous. I love it. It’s called Ramblings of Fyre. And you know you want to visit her. Go on, click over on the side there. *points to the side* Right there. Featured Blog. Ya. That one.

Our dear FG (as she affectionately signs her posts) has a great sense of this world. I think we were buddies in a former life. I read her posts and thought – yeah, I’d say that. Even her post where she pokes at the landlords she has that haven’t pimped her blog. As much as I wanted to be all “HEY! GIMMIE A CHANCE!” – I thought: “Dude. I’d so say that.”

So, go on and visit FG. She is definitely worth the visit as she tells it like it is. Click, I say. CLICK!!

Posted in Bloggy | 1 Comment

So Long!

Posted on January 20, 2006 by Zelda

To my first tenet. I feel horrible that I let his week expire without so much as a hurrah!

Gi Gotti from Across the Pond spent a week on my blog. He spiffed it right up! And you know you loved reading about the sandbox – from someone who is actually there. (=

So – to GI Gotti, thanks for being a fantastic tenet. Come back soon!

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Hey!  Where’d she go?!

Posted on January 20, 2006 by Zelda

So – I vanished off the face of the planet. For that, I must apologize. I had not realized it had been so long since I had put anything up here on the blog to tell the internets what I had been doing. Mea culpa. I really am sorry. To Betty, I <3 you and you are my hero. You know why. The short of the story is:
Exams for the childrens started on the 13th of January. And they continued through to yesterday. The week preceding the 13th – ie, everything after the Meltdown on the 9th – was spent preparing said childrens for the exams so they would not fail. It helped some. Others – it did not. Que sera.

So – I’ve been utterly immersed in work since the 9th of January. Between the grading, the students coming in for help, retakes, make-ups, etc, by the time I would get home, I’d stare at the television utterly blankly, with no will of my own. It was a sad, sad thing.

But – the exams are over and I should be back up to snuff on the bloggy/internet world.

PS – if you need the LONG story, feel free to contact me. (;

Posted in Bloggy | 1 Comment

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Posted on January 9, 2006 by Zelda


As before – click on the ‘Meltdown’ category to see old versions.

It’s called the “Monday Meltdown” and is an excuse to just let out some of the frustration within. We all have frustration, yes? So – let’s focus our frustration and let it out on Mondays – because we all know that Mondays just deserve it. Just ask Garfield. ::grins::

Here’s how it is going to work. I’m going to post a choice for you. You take it away and go! Either in the comments section or on your own blog. But if you run away to your own blog, please drop me a comment so I can come see. ::grins:: I love to read a good rant.

I also have a button up there you can ‘steal’. Steal meaning take away to your own server. Don’t direct link. I’m afraid I don’t have the bandwidth for that one. (; So – are you ready to vent? I know you are. ::grins::

This week’s rants:
1. Apathetic People
or
2. Internet Grammar

You are free to rant about both or just one. Some of these rants may come back around, so don’t feel you need to do both of them so you can get it in. ::grins::

Okay! Go! If you are interested in my Meltdown for the week, it’s after the bump.

Continue reading →

Posted in Meltdown | 5 Comments