Dear X was something I ran across many years ago. In the intervening years, it has since disappeared from the net. I found another version of it, but it wasn’t quite the same. The original idea was to get all your feelings out on your own blog, not send them to a communal blog. But, for those of you to whom that appeals, cool. Me, I miss the old version of it. You wrote everything you felt and needed to say out to someone, but left off the names, leaving only – X.
I’m putting it after the bump for a couple of reasons.
- It’s long.
- Maybe you just don’t give a fuck – which is fine. It’s deeply personal and emotional. I know some people just don’t care to read that stuff.
- It oddly reminds me of the stuff I used to write in college. It’s nearly in verse. Oy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dear X ~
I wish you knew the effect you truly had on my life.
I wish you knew the scars you left upon my heart and my soul.
I wish I’d had the courage to tell you.
I wish I’d been angrier sooner so I could have told you.
I wish things had been different.
I wish you had been the person I thought you were.
I wish you would read this and know that you truly did not deserve me at all.
I wish I actually believed that.
I wish you knew how much rage I still hold.
I wish you knew how much bitterness and hate hide in my soul.
I wish you could see how you’ve completely dampened my spirit.
I wish you could see beyond the mask I show to the world to the darkness within.
Was it really worth it?
Was the instant gratification worth the destruction you wrought?
Was she worth it, I wonder?
Was she good for you, that girl a mere ten days later?
I don’t wish you death.
I don’t wish you harm.
I don’t wish you the pain you’ve caused me.
I don’t wish you the uncertainty of self you’ve given to me.
I only wish you could see the truth.
I only wish you had had the strength I had.
I only wish you would have had the courage to speak.
I only wish you had been the someone you pretended to be.
In the end, I wish only one thing…
That I could truly say –
You have no power over me…
~ Me
Wow pretty deep stuff. I think I can relate.
It’s been weighing on my soul a long time. Mostly because I never asked the questions I should have asked. And now – it’s a bit too late. Ah well.
sometimes it’s just good to say it. It helped me a lot.
There were others things I haven’t said yet. ::smirks:: Perhaps for Dear X #2. (; That one might need a parental advisory.
Sweet, i’m always up for anything that says “explicit”
I echo Yoshi’s sentiments with this one. Wow.
Its the sort of thing I’d love to send to X.
@Yoshi – just wait then. *snickers*
@Eliza – Some things really do need to be written down, I think. I felt better. (; It took a couple hours AND the Thursday Thirteen – but I felt better!
Congratulations…I probably would have stuck out my tongue and sulked.
I used to do Dear X too! We should start it up again. I miss it.
@Rick – I did sulk. For a long time.
@CJ – I am going to start it up. (; Just you wait and see. *muahahahhahaha*