So, if you read my Meltdown, you heard about the two friends I had.
Until Monday, I would have said I have them as friends.
But – no. I was talking to Roomie on the phone and she told me that SlushieMan had gone up to visit these so-called friends.
Wait. Backstory first.
The five of us – Roomie, SlushieMan, these two friends (before they were married), and I – have been friends since college. Roomie and I randomly started a tradition of having a ‘Christmas’ with the five of us while we were in college. (I believe it was junior year. Yes. Junior year.) So, that would be Christmas of ’98. Yes. Really. This has been running *that* long. We would give each other small gifts – just to spend time. I mean, we were a tight circle. As the group began to evolve – IE, Friend 1 and Friend 2 found women – we started to include others in this tradition. That’s cool. And then, last year, we gave up on the presents – because, damn it’s stressful – and decided to just go out for a really nice dinner. (When I say really nice, I mean a place where jeans are given the evil eye and you walk away from the table full, but much poorer.) I liked it. It was easy and we still got to do what we wanted to do – spend time together.
Okay. Back to the phone call with Roomie. SlushieMan had gone up to visit Friend 1 and Friend 2 since the three of them are all guys and they’ve known each other forever and they like to play video games together. (Can I mention that the wives of Friend 1 and Friend 2 were also at this “man’s day of gaming” – baking cookies? O_o ) So, Friend 1 and Friend 2 bring up the annual Christmas dinner. Yay! I love to eat. And since Friend 1 and Friend 2 cannot be bothered to call *me* personally, I only get to see them at this time of year. Oh. Wait. Not this year – or any further years, unless I manage to get married. See, they – meaning Friend 1 & 2 – decided it would be better not to invite me. Why? It’s awkward. Roomie told me this and I was all – it is? I suppose the key is – it’s awkward for *them*. I didn’t find it awkward at all. I never have. I just think it’s fun. But – no. They find it uncomfortable for me to be the only single one in our crowd of three married couples.
I was shocked. Flabbergasted. Unsettled. Hurt. Really, really hurt. Angry. Given that I was driving during this phone call, very bad of me, I know, I couldn’t do much more than go “wtf?!”. Roomie was very supportive. In fact, she was livid when SlushieMan told her about it. How dare they disinvite me because I’m single? SlushieMan didn’t argue because it was, poor man, four against one. And SlushieMan isn’t one to get into confrontations – especially with friends – in public.
So – Roomie and SlushieMan and I are going to have our *own* Christmas and those – PEOPLE – are so not invited.
Man. I didn’t realize until I wrote it all out exactly how much that hurt. The holidays are hard enough for me without having someone do that. Two someones whom I had thought cared for me. I guess I’m just not important enough for them. That’s fine. Whatever.
Wow. That is really fucked up. Last year we invited a bunch of single guys over… wait, was that cmas or thanksgiving?… I can’t remember… but anyway, I was the only female and I don’t think anyone was uncomfortable. Everyone had a great time bullshitting and eating and I don’t recall a moment when anyone did a Significant-Other check. Bastards. You don’t need ’em!! Grrrrr!!!
Just the opposite happened to me years ago. My best friend (kindergarden till college) decided she felt uncomfortable being my friend cause IWas married with a abby and she was single. I say this is BULLSHIT. Friendship has nothing to do with marital status or any other status for what matters. I’m so sorry honey .. but to me this just says that they dont deserve to be your friends.. F them and come have dinenr with meeeeeee
Yeah. I thought it was really fucked up myself. As much as it hurts – I’ve decided to just say “Screw you, assholes.” I don’t need those sort of people in my life.
At least I know Roomie and SlushieMan still love me.
YAY! Dinner with Jenny! *does a dance* Sounds good to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (=
Ten bucks says this idea wasn’t even theirs, but shoved onto them by their wives. “She’s still single – she’ll try to steal my man! I better demand my husband spurn her, or he’ll never see me naked again!”
Actually, I did date one of those guys in college, but the wife cannot POSSIBLY feel threatened by that. *I* was the one that ended the relationship. And I’ve never shown the slightest interest in the other guy, so – yeah.
And it wouldn’t surprise me if it was the wives that encouraged it. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of the two guys since they found women. Pfffffft. SlushieMan, at the least, still has some cojones. (;
(Hell, Roomie has more cojones than those two put together – and she’s a girl. (; )
That same thing happened with me and my best buddy. I just gave up and quit trying to reach him…
OMG! You have got to be sh*ttin’ me? I know I’m way late on this one, but I’ve been out of office.
That’s not a true friendship if they can just dis-invite you like that – without even telling you. What they did is a coward’s move, and yes, I’d say it to their faces if I ever met them.
If they were true friends, if they truly cared about you, and they truly wanted to continue the friendship, they would have worked up the nerve to call and speak with you about it face to face, instead of by proxy.
I hope your new Christmas tradition continues on and only grows more wonderful and personal in the coming years.
Poo on them.
i think the whole idea came from your freind’s wives. If you think you are more attractive and funnier than the wives, i can see why this is a problem. If your men friends are stupid enough to put you on the pedestal and constantly talk good things about you while they are with their wives, that can be really irritatable to the women. My wife is the same way, I’ve been together with my wife over 10 years and married for 7 years. If they are smart man, they will listen to their wives, they’d rather have peace than war at home. I hope you can forgive them try to get to know the wives in different level. Of course, that is only if these men are really important to you. Watch “When Harry met Sally” Starring Meg Ryan… they say, “Man and woman can’t be friends” But if you are HOT, I am afraid, your friendship won’t workout.