When Fun is Gone

It’s supposed to be fun, right? It’s supposed to be a way to unwind and just – allow the stress of life to seep away.
So why isn’t it fun any more?

For those of you who are completely lost, here’s the short of it.

I roleplay in an online game on IRC. Yes, I am a geek and a dork and a nerd. Whichever term applies to that particular portion. I always lose track. In any event, I’ve been doing some form of role play since college. It’s – been a while. We’ll leave it at that. I blame my brother. He made me try IRC and then I found RP groups online there. Silly boy. How could he do that to me.

But, suddenly, it’s not fun any more. I no longer log into the game with anticipation, but with dread. What new idiocy will I have to deal with today. And it’s not even the new players. New players can be taught. It’s old players, people in positions of power in the game, which make me want to just – leave the whole thing.

I don’t know. It’s a nice thing for me to do to unwind at the end of the day, but now I wonder if it is worth trying to start over. I suck at making new friends. (I do, Betty! I swear!) And breaking into another game doesn’t thrill me at all. I’ve spent a year in this one room and it’s been a fight the whole way. I think it’s sucked all the fight out of me.

Ah well. At least I’ll always have my internets. Right?