You wake up and your body hurts. Your WHOLE body hurts! As you attempt to regain consciousness you try to remember what you did to deserve this. It’s raining outside and it’s dark. Did you sleep through the day? You go back to your last memory. Yes, there’s something coming to you like a distant memory. You freak out; “what the hell did I do that made me lose my memories?”
You take a deep breath and you open your eyes a little wider. Your best friend is lying next to you asleep also. You start to remember more now. You remember going out. There was some alcohol and a lot of dancing. This explains why your feet hurt like they’ve been run over by a tractor. Damn you lesbians, you think, and remember the group of them that was dancing dangerously close to you and kept pushing, shoving and stepping all over you.
You try getting out of bed. It proves to be an impossible task, your body is refusing to cooperate and you hit your head on the headboard. You get mad and try it again. You are now sitting on the bed and try to find what time it is. Yes, you did it. You slept through another day. It’s 6pm! What time did you fall asleep? The still blurred memories from last night are not giving you much information so you think of coffee. Yes, coffee will make things a lot better. You go to the kitchen and make yourself a bucket of strong coffee which you drink in seconds. Coffee hasn’t done anything for you in years so you may need more later. The walk from the bedroom to the kitchen has woken you up a little more though and things are clearer now. There was a club and way too many people fighting for a spot on the dance floor. You were dancing like it was going out of style and so were way too many people around you, including the lesbians. Oh yes, the DJ, she was mad, she was dressed as a Playboy bunny, you never understood why but didn’t care much either. It was a gay club after all and in one night you can see tons of stuff that don’t make sense. There was a guy with a green dyed beard and a Hawaiian shirt on and further away you saw a tranny doing the splits. Some people just don’t make sense.
You continue to be blasted with images and remember who you were with. You remember the guy who was looking at you trying to flirt from a distance using just his eyes and you remember the guy you almost slapped for grabbing your bum and then looking the other way pretending it wasn’t him. You remember how hot it was in there and that you were soaked in sweat from all the wild dancing. You remember leaving because your feet hurt from all the stomping other people did on them and because you were wearing the wrong shoes for anything that involved using your feet. You remember making a mental note to not wear these shoes again no matter how well they look or how well they match your clothes. You remember coming home and then you feel old. You went home at 2am. You got home and did laundry! What? That can’t be right! But you did. You look at the washing machine and it is full. Why would you do that at 2 in the morning? You weren’t drunk, you were just being random and you feel old again. You hadn’t been out in months and when you got home from clubbing you did laundry!
You need to change things. You make another mental note to start living like a young person again, and then you empty the washing machine.
Colin
LOL you feeling old? wow, i must be ancient. hahaha.
nice post!
Most of the time I feel old for my age but then I do something remarkably immature just to balance it out. I’m glad you like the post.
* makes mental note to slap colin for thinking he’s old *
** points and laughs at yoshi because he is old **
*** runs away ***
Hahaha, well I think I deserve the slap.
I always wondered why people point and laugh at me. LOL
In my own experience as a victim of being laughed and pointed at I have found that it generally follows on the heels of me having done something genuinely foolish. Needless to say this happens alot.